Disappointed

My life’s been full of beautiful disappointment.
Of the sinking stomachs the accompany loss in the most peculiar of ways.
Of the dog who never ran to me, but only greeted my brother.
And waking to my father’s pancakes on Sunday morning when
I always wanted eggs.

There’ve been countless sandwiches which
Reveal the heel of a loaf, once flipped over.
And infinite mornings devoted to the beach
But when we woke, rained for forty days.
The soft sigh of my mother when
My father didn’t come home at five pm.

There have been boys who only stroke my thigh
In the anonymity of a dark movie theater.
And friends who forgot to call on Saturday night
Before they joined for a bonfire.
The silent sting of a seventy,
On a test I thought I had aced.

Bittersweet moments, careful letdowns.
Those plans or dreams
That never came true.
But the one that bites me everyday
Is knowing that I’ve lost you.

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